Probably because I've been doing fuck-nothing. Calling people, buying really good CDs (the newest NIN is amazingly good), listening to Dan Savage podcasts, visiting family, buying airplane tickets to go see other members of family in about a month (exciting!!!), and missing every damn person I can think of.
Considering the fact that I live in a small town and will be leaving for two weeks, my chances of getting and retaining a job are quite slim. I want to work in the local bagel cafe, but we will see how that goes. Or, get this, I can examine larvae to discern their sex. But since I am not a student of MSU, I live in a town where my options are Wal-Mart, Kroger, or Chili's, and I haven't had any job experience before, things are not looking good.
I shall keep trying.
If it doesn't work out, I can always pose nude for the art department at Hendrix.
In my spare time I've been writing in my journal a whooooole lot. Some are even worth sharing.
To see him in the flesh for one moment would mean more to me than three months of e-mails or postcards or texts. To be in the same moment with him ... it's almost as good as feeling his arms around me.
Just like how "300" made me want to pick a fight with the first person I saw, "Pan's Labyrinth" made me believe in magic again. If there is one thing that is lacking in today's day-in-day-out routine is a sense of mystery to the world.
Why do people balk at saying "I don't know" and feel so uncomfortable that they don't know something? Is it so hard to believe that we are only human and limited? Of course, if you admit that you are limited in knowledge, you must be limited in other areas. Like mortality. "Perhaps if we learn everything there can be to learn and understand every nuance of the universe, then we can conquer the unknown." Naturally, by the unknown, we mean the Great Unknown, Death.
I accept and embrace the fact that I an well-and-truly mortal. My body, at least. I know I know nothing. And by knowing nothing, there are still things yet to know and discover. Some mystery exists in the world. And I like it that way. I see beauty in t he world this way. Not that I can't appreciate the modern invention and marvel at how all the parts fit together to make a cohesive, working unit. But some things I like not knowing. If I know nothing, then I can be content. If I knew everything, I would eventually be looking for something new. Unfortunately, there's nothing new to those who have seen it all before.
Next time I will share the letter game answers with you all, thanks to
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rasphigi.Tchuss! Bis bald!
- Location:In a library (shhhh!)
- Mood:
lonely - Music:My laptop's noises (in my head "O Death" by Ralph Stanley)
Profile
- fuggered
- Clara Sophia
- The hilarity. Plain and simple.
Comments
I just watched Pan's Labyrinth and found it really depressing. I mean, it's great to find magic in your world but... when finding magic is an allegory for death... All right, it's the realistic way to look at things, but it still displeases me. If magic is no good to the living, then I have no interest in it. Yeah I'm mortal, but right now, I'm alive, and that fact predominates. Isn't that the point of living? I can't buy into the idea that the point of life is to die, even if you can find a way to die really awesomely, even if death turns out to be supercool...
*sigh* I guess my problem was that I didn't really connect with the heroine. It was hard for me to respect her. Ultimately, she was a child, who just saw that growing up sucks and didn't see how it was worth it. What am I supposed to do with that?
(Simply stated, Claire just doesn't like people who die.) (that part really was spoiler, highlight to read)
I do agree with you though. Conquering the unknowable by desperately trying to know everything you can is like conquering water by breathing air really deeply... wrongheaded. Better to accept there's limits to knowledge and work on being okay with that.
The tricky part is finding magic inside the day-in-day-out, not in spite of it... the jewel is in the lotus and all that. This is something I understand in theory (I think ^__-') but don't comprehend. Anyway. That's as far into the ineffable as I go.
Heart heart. Happy summer ^______^ Have fun visiting folks... always exciting (:
I agree that the point of life is not death, but to emphasize both of them equally. If you forget that one day you're going to die, then you can sometimes not fully appreciate how fleeting and one-of-a-kind some moments can be. But if you're all angsty about death and worried about when it comes, you won't see life. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life unless today is the day you die." Thank you, "American Beauty".
And Italy for you??? That is uber-exciting! When one is just working to be working, it's not so much fun; but working so that you can go to Italia is pretty much the height of awesomeness. Post lots and lots of pictures and give a detailed account!
Happy summer to you too, dearest! ^____^
Yeah, I don't actually know what-all existentialism entails, as a philosophy, but I like Hobbes ^___~ and I like to think it gets across the mood of "Claire is thinking too hard about this", so, as an icon, it works. Meh. It's not like I often know what I'm talking about anyway... ;)
As much as Trent Reznor's music makes me happy, his lyrics are always high school tripe. I haven't heard the new album, but nothing can top The Fragile. It also seems he's become political. I don't know about that.
The more you learn, the less you know, but the wiser you become. Nobody has seen it all. That's the beauty of the world. . .sheesh, can I get any cheesier? Anyway, hi.
I do agree that at times Reznor's lyrics are a bit trite, but generally I dont continually listen to music for the lyrics. I get too swept up in the notes itself that I find it distracting to pay attention to what the artist is singing and playing at the same time.
The Fragile is one of many NIN albums that I have yet to buy. But it has "Just Like You Imagined" which is one of the most amazing pieces I've heard in my life.
But yes, Year Zero, if I recall correctly, is the latest and most certainly most political of his albums. Still damn good.
Well, you do know that if Johnny Depp starts hitting on me all bets are off ...